Hey Everyone, I hope you are all well I am sitting in my living room all snuggled up with some hot chocolate as I am writing this so all I need now is my Christmas decorations up then it will really start to feel like the xmas festive season is it too early?? The last while it has been up and down with me as my anxiety has slowly creeped its way back into my life. I have been doing quite well on trying to manage it the last few weeks and I felt that I was doing a lot more i.e socialising and enjoying life in general. If you are a sufferer of mental health you will know that it feels like you’re been robbed of your own life and it stops you from doing so many things. I am not to sure why I have been feeling like I don’t have control over my anxiety lately just cant put my finger on it at the moment sometimes there may not be a reason and sometimes there are reasons or even a trigger.
I have been going for Psychotherapy for over a year now and CBT for 5 months but the last few weeks I have taken a break as I felt a lot better in myself and decided to do some meditation or exercise when I felt that of what I like to call it a dark day of anxiety its like I am standing there looking at myself, I cant move, my heart is beating so fast, my palms are starting to sweat, cant breathe, feel nauseous, my stomach is in a knot and that can happen anywhere at anytime which is the scary part.
So many thoughts are racing through my head and I am that girl who thinks the worst things possible that could be wrong or go wrong, Lately getting out in my sports wear throwing on my comfiest Demkupe Hoodie which I love and my Nike leggings and heading out for a long walk along the pier by the sea breathing in that fresh crisp air looking at the scenery around me taking back control over my negative thoughts not letting those feelings take over and it actually helps me so much in terms of feeling positive again. There is a mask that I have shown for many months and what I mean by that is the smiley, happy mask that covers the broken, numb and the lonely person who suffers in silence. I once was that person maybe sometimes still am but now knowing I can talk to people that I am not alone and while I sit here writing this I hope I can relate to some others and can reach out as mental health is so important just as much as our physical health.